We at Caring for Cats occasionally receive questions from our Facebook followers or from newsletter recipients, and we trust our own Dear Tabby to provide a thoughtful response. We thought we’d share a recent exchange in case any of you can relate.

Dear Tabby:

My girlfriend Tammy and I just decided to take our relationship to the next level and move in together. I have always lived alone and never shared my mancave with anyone except my Maine Coon, Harley. I’m nervous that Tammy will want to cover my house with pillows and potpourri. Do you have any tips to make this transition easier for us?

Submitted by Mancaver in Maple Grove.

Dear Mancaver:

Congratulations on your upcoming relationship milestone! I’ll start by saying that real men are not afraid of pillows, but I understand your anxiety. I hope I can calm your concerns by giving some advice taken from our pillow-loving companions, the cats. Moving in together is a big step, so it is best to do a slow transition. A gradual blending of your worlds will likely lead to a successful merger. Like when a new cat is introduced into a household with a resident cat. The family should not just plop the cats in the same room and expect them to get immediately along. If they do this, odds are that the hissing and scratching that ensue may dash all hopes for a loving relationship. And I’d hate to see you ruin your voice with the constant hissing.

Here are some tips I can give you. Keep in mind that the dominant partner (cat or human) will drive the transition timeline.

Start small. Go slow. Sharing scents is critical to new cat introductions, so I must believe the same is true for us humans. Have Tammy initially bring in a few personal belongings so you and Harley can get used to the new feminine scent in your mancave. If you find it disagreeable, you may hiss a bit, but don’t lash out or nip her. I assume you love Tammy and don’t want to scare her off.

Once you’re ready, then have her bring in more items. You can both get used to each other’s scent by sleeping with each other’s worn socks under your pillow. Just a suggestion. Shared playtime will also ease the transition. Maybe one of you can dress up like a big mouse and chase the other around your mancave. Or maybe Tammy could stuff one of her pink pillows with ManNip, a new product sold only to women that has the same effect on men as catnip has on cats. As you get used to living together, look for signs of anxiety.

Are Tammy’s ears twitching when you ask her why you need ten pillows on your bed? Do you hear a low growl coming from her as you try to dominate the TV remote? If so, modify your behavior and strive for harmony. Please also keep in mind that cats are clean creatures who instinctively use a litterbox and cover their waste. As long as you and Tammy are tidy and shut the lid on the toilet seat, I predict things will work out just fine. Remember to go slow as you merge households.

My prediction is that Harley will adjust to his new roomie faster than you, but I’m not a psychic. I understand cats better than humans in love.

Stay hopeful and observant. Good luck!

______

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